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Saturday morning, PFF2014: after a 530 hike, my pal Megs and I headed up to the festival to catch a kids’ movie. There’s a name in the cast that clearly drew the fangirls, since this particular film was part of the kid’s day events. From the look of it, it’ll probably be a limited release.

2014

Christina Hendricks as Zarina
Mae Whitman as Tinker Bell
Lucy Liu as Silvermist
Tom Hiddleston as James
Directed by Peggy Holmes

Synopsis: Zarina is a dust-keeper fairy, so she’s part of the process of producing and distributing fairy dust amongst the inhabitants of the fairy island. Lots of fairies. They need their dust. One day, Zarina gets to work with the blue dust, which has awesome properties, but no one has tested them to see what else it can do! Enter Z. She snags a few motes and starts to experiment. This leads her to an unfortunate twist of fate, and she winds up stealing the blue dust to make her pirate ship fly. The rest of the winged ladies aren’t too keen on this idea (pirates are BAAAAAD), so they follow Z to see what they can do to recover the blue dust.

Soooo…yeah. Clearly Hiddles was enough to get us out of bed for a pre-dawn hike so we could make it to the movie on time. He didn’t disappoint (he SINGS! Check it out on pinterest and youtube), even though he had the typical bad-guy cartoon character overaccentuation of facial features (i.e. a MASSIVE CHIN). It was fun for other reasons, too, though they pale in comparison to the addition of the nicest guy on the planet to the cast.

What were they?
• Disney animation. There were so many fairies, but they’re so pretty! I love the wing detail. The scenery is great. The best animated scene was at the end of the big gathering. Reminded me quite a bit of Frozen.
• All of the cool things the fairies did with different colors of dust. Gold is for flying, obviously, but the fairies actually have different talents, and the dust accentuates those talents (Tinker Bell is a TINKER…she builds stuff).
• The script is super cute and fluffy. Good for the little guys (btw: Megs and I were the only non-parents or –under-8s in the theater. I know that surprises you). Lots of morality. Minimal violence. Fairies don’t do much damage, even when armed.

Weepy Meter: ½ /10 there’s always something about the denouement of a Disney film…it wraps everything up so nicely, and you feel so good about yourself because the good guys win, that maybe you’ll get a little emotional. No actual tears fell, but they were welling.

Man Meter: -45 bajillion/10 Unless the two of you have children under the age of 3, and it’s his turn to stay up all night, he will NEVER EVER WATCH THIS MOVIE.

Overall Rating: 6/10 Silly, but cute. Because Disney. And Hiddles. All the Hiddles. Anytime James was on screen, I had to close my eyes because hearing that voice coming out of THAT FACE was creeping me out and I couldn’t stop laughing.

Unless you don’t mind having the same song stuck in your head all day long, don’t get too excited about the pirates yo-ho-ho-ing.

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