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2004

Ron Perlman as Hellboy
John Hurt as Professor Broom
Doug Jones & David Hyde Pierce as Abe Sapien
Selma Blair as Liz
Karel Roden as Grigori Rasputin
Directed by Guillermo del Toro

Synopsis: Those doggone Nazis! Always trying to control everybody and rule the earth…sigh. This time their scientists are trying to bring demons into the world via a space portal to help them do exactly that, but luckily the Americans, with all their usual fanfare and grenade-throwing, foil the plan. They leave with a new friend who managed to make it through the portal before it was destroyed, who is destined to do great things for mankind. Could go either way at this point, but the things accomplished will be great.

Ah, Guillermo. You’ve started something magnificent, sir! What a great show. As with all of these special effects masterpieces (and it really is…), the scripts are less than brilliant, but that’s not the point. The point is the spectacle. Ron Perlman is the perfect humanized demon, and he’s no stranger to makeup effects (Beauty and the Beast, 1987). And that hand!

What else makes this a great movie, regardless of the script?

• The supporting cast. All of the supernatural agents rock. Liz is cute, Abe is amazing. Even the bad guys are fun—the guy filled with sand? Rock that costume, buddy! Even Jeffery Tambor is good in this…love his relationship with Red.

• All of Hellboy’s little quirks. I love that a big demon with sawed-off horns is a fan of the kittehs. Adorbs.

• John Hurt. Professor Broom’s undying belief that Red is a good guy builds the emotional atmosphere and makes you FEEL. In a DEL TORO movie. Impressive.

Weepy Meter: 1/10 There’s one sad part. And Kittehs. EVERYWHERE.

Man Meter: 7/10 Fun stuff. Big guns. Silly jokes with sillier punchlines. Ron Perlman. Guns.

Overall Rating: 7/10 It’s not GREAT, but it’s fun. That’s a big thing for me when watching a non-rom-com. Winner winner, chicken dinner!

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