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2008

Ron Perlman as Hellboy
Selma Blair as Liz
Doug Jones as Abe Sapien
Luke Goss as Nuada
Seth McFarlane (!) as Johann Krauss’ voice
Directed by Guillermo del Toro

Well, he’s done it again. Mr. del Toro has made a highly entertaining movie with minimal interference from the script.

Synopsis: Hellboy isn’t exactly a secret anymore, despite the Bureau’s best attempts to keep him undercover. Even Cuban cigars aren’t helping. He’s up against another formidable opponent, this time in the form of elven prince Nuada, who is trying to reignite a war against the humans because we just can’t figure out how to live in concert with nature; instead, we build parking lots. Nuada wants to engage the Golden Army, and Hellboy and crew intend to stop it.

Golden Army, eh? Soooooo…
Robots?
Figured as much.

I think the effects are better in this effort, and the addition of Seth McFarlane as a sarcastic German robot is pretty novel… you really have to listen closely to pick it up, but it’s definitely him (in his first major film role, btw…).

What else makes this one worth your time?

• The whole twins-sharing-everything thing. Poor Abe. He really got screwed.
• Everything that happens in the Troll Market. Especially the tumor baby. I am taken back to the days of Arnold and Total Recall. I love that it’s more verbose and eloquent than its host/parent.
• The Elemental. Nasty, but WOW, what it does for the city! Too bad it was the last of its kind…we could use more of them these days, clearing out the parking lots…
• Abe and Red getting drunk and talking about Liz. Heh heh heh. That’s funny. A guy that breathes water drinking beer. I bet it took about, oh, 3 sips.

Weepy Meter: 0/10 I had too much fun laughing at the stumpy cart guy who summoned the giant rock-man-door in northern Ireland to cry during this one.

Man Meter: 5/10 Again, if he liked the first (which he’s seen now, because you watched it together and loved the silliness), he’ll go for this one. A LOT of people don’t care for this one, but it’s kinda bad-ass. There are a couple of fun sword fighting scenes with Prince Nuada (not quite up to par with Aragorn and the Uruk-Hai Leader from Fellowship, but still good), and a really cool gun.

Overall Rating: 8/10 Even though David Hyde Pierce didn’t reprise his role as Abe’s voice, Mr. Jones did a pretty great job. And who doesn’t love Hellboy? If you take my advice at all, you know not to get excited about a del Toro movie script. You just watch Red beat people senseless, spewing bad jokes and sarcasm all the while. Great fun.

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