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2013

Chris Pine as Jim Kirk
Zachary Quinto as Spock
Benedict Cumberbatch as Harrison
Peter Weller as Admiral Marcus
Directed by J.J. Abrams

Synopsis: Kirk and crew begin the new installment by getting into trouble. Well, I guess it’s just Kirk who gets into trouble. Go figure. Then a nasty British man blows up some archive to get all of the captains/first officers together, and then he tries to kill them all. There is, of course, back story here, and it involves corruption at the highest levels of Star Fleet command, genetically modified humans, a battle with Klingons, and a seriously awesome warship (love the way you say Dreadnaught, Benny). The drama intensifies when Kirk allies himself with his worst enemy, but only Spock Prime knows this; new characters are introduced, and Mr. Scott takes a surprise leave of absence, only to bring the house down with his cursing and piss-taking.

Fun bits:

• Simon Pegg. Seriously can NOT get enough of this guy. He’s a practical joker, too; YouTube the neutron cream prank. Classic. But yeah…what a great actor for the character. “James Tiberius Perfect Hair.”

• Harrison takes on the Klingons. Basically by himself. This guy is a bad ass. His hair is better here than in Sherlock, if you ask me…

• Bones flirting with Carol. I was shaking my head along with the rest of the crew. What a DERP.

• Death by radiation. It’s horribly sad, but also really ironic, if you’ve seen Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Spock screaming made me laugh through the tears. (Sorry; I’m a bit of a traditionalist…even if Shatner overacting is tough to swallow.)

Weepy Meter: 8/10 I have to tone it down a bit for the non-ED ladies out there. I think I cried at 4 or 5 separate instances during this one. But, you are a cold-hearted snake if you don’t tear up at the 5 men (all beautiful, btw) who cry during this movie. If the men can cry, so can you.

Man Meter: 7/10 Due to the beautiful men filling up this cast, it might be tough, but it’s sci-fi, action, violent, and it’s STAR TREK. He should have seen it already. You should see the original, then amaze him with your knowledge of the first version. Could be helpful…

Overall rating: 8/10 I like this one better than the first. You can probably guess one of the main reasons, but again…it’s NOT just because of the cheekbones. He is seriously talented. I like his Khan just as much as (get ready to roll your R’s, girls!) Ricardo Montalban, even though he isn’t as bronze or bare-chested. Fully dressed leaves more to the imagination.

Jesus, I’m pathetic. Shut up, fangirl.

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