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1997

Bruce Willis as Korben Dallas
Milla Jovovich as Leeloo
Gary Oldman as Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg
Ian Holm as Father Vito Cornelius
Directed by Luc Besson

Synopsis: I think the world’s gonna end? And Sirius Black is gonna do it? So Bruce Willis is gonna save the day?
I don’t even care what this movie is about. It’s totally irreverent. And mind-bogglingly funny.

• Chris Tucker as Ruby Rhod. Oh. My. Goodness. What a total whack job! “Bzzzzz. BZZZZZ! ZZZ!” “Korben! Dallaaaaaaaaas!” “ohmygodKorben…anotheronecomingKorben…” I think the black opera outfit with the roses is my favorite. So much classier than the cheetah print. Folks, you just gotta see it to believe it.
• The mugger who needs instruction on how to use the gun he’s going to hold Dallas up with. Holy, cracked-out, nut case!
• Gary Oldman’s costume. What’s up with that hair?! And the accent? And the giggling before realizing his stones are NOT in the box. Again. Holy crap he’s crazy!
• Diva Plavalaguna. An inflatable holdover from Star Wars. But whatta voice…maybe the first appearance of autotune in film?
This is such a weird movie. I think the writers and director were stoned when they wrote it. No, not stoned. Not enough food. Maybe shrooms? The result is a massive sci-fi hallucination conglomeration bizarro-fest. I think I might love every minute of it?

Weepy meter: 0/10 Never. Unless you get stoned before watching it and laugh yourself hysterical.
Man meter: 5/10 Milla Jovovich is naked for a few seconds. There are guns and fighting. Chris Tucker is creepy-funny.
Overall rating: 6/10 Another cult classic, I think. It takes a special kind of person to like this movie. It’s just too strange to be that popular, but I think it really is that popular! Y’all are my kind of people.
And in other news…my cat likes tortilla chips.
Make sense? No? Watch this movie. And welcome to the land of the strange.

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